Fall fashion is bull pocky.
OK, so maybe it's true: we all dress a little bit warmer in the colder months. Maybe the rain coat comes out, perhaps the occasional scarf, but overall, I hardly think that a 10-degree drop in weather is cause to celebrate rampant consumerism by buying a whole new wardrobe and a matching dresser. Honestly, the whole idea of it seems a bit preposterous to me, especially when designers showcase a whole gamut of colors on the runway - meanwhile, the rest of us associate fall with exactly two colors: brown and gray.
Taking a quick look at what might be becoming the new "it" items of Fall of 2011, I stumbled upon the Fall Fashion issue of New York Magazine for 2011. I think it bears a bit of discussion, since a number of the items on their list of projections kind of made me cry.
1. Bold Orange. Excuse me, but huh? Sure, I know leaves turn orange in the fall for about two weeks, but if the object of fashion is to stand out and not blend in with everything else, do you really expect individuals to buy a puffy orange coat just so they can play Rambo in Central Park for a period of ten to fourteen days? I somehow doubt it.
2. Warm Jackets. I don't really even know where to begin here. You're telling me that warm clothing is in this fall? Jesus fucking Christ, stop the presses.
3. Fur. See number 2. Regardless of how you feel about PETA's ads, fur was always associated with warmth, so really, kind of a no-brainer.
4. Snakeskin. I understand this is a craze right now, but seriously, time to give it a rest. I checked out on the snake-skin trend when I heard that some people actually apply that shit as nail polish. Seriously, enough is enough.
5. Mixed Prints. Because nothing says "fall" to me as much as walking around looking like an Andy Warhol print.
My plan for fall is to continue wearing what I was wearing in the summer, only warmer, and more of it. Occasionally, I will surrender to my pretentious hipster side and throw on a scarf when the temperature dips to 58 degrees. But only if the scarf comes paired with some kind of coat.
We're done here.
